G-Men United

Gay-Men United or The End of Gayhood in Malaysia is Near

The Present

Gay men of Malaysia have made it to the front page of major newspapers more and more frequently these days. It all started out with a rather heinous political tactic to suppress the opposition by using sodomy allegations as a way to tarnish the image of an otherwise formidable foe. It didn’t work, the opposition made a huge impact on the political scene even if they didn’t win, but homosexuality, until today remains the Numero Uno (No.1) moral issue in this country, thus explaining the immense coverage given by medias in this country including the no.1 channel on national tv, tv3.

The recent raids by the police force on gay joints in Penang followed by immense coverage by medias up to the point of making it as the opening news on Buletin Utama and front page news of all major newspapers complete with pictures of gay guys arrested and dragged into police trucks was a big blow to the gay community of this country. This is the second raid after the first one conducted a year ago on this island. The last one however, was conducted at a very small scale that it escaped the eyes of the media except for one tabloid paper that reported on the incident. Following that, various newspapers chose to stick with gay news, playing it up as the biggest moral issue in this country up to the point of calling us gays as CANCER.

They portrayed gay guys as a menace to the general public, alleging us of destroying happy families by robbing husbands from “loyal” wives and children. Elderly gays seen as scumbags being desperate citizens still craving for manly flesh to satisfy their inconsolable urge. The phrase used in association with the recent raid was GAY PARTY, with the word PARTY given such negative connotation that no one in their right mind would hold another party again for whatever reason. These parties are described as loud, orgies taking place at every single corner of the place with condoms used and unused strewn everywhere with the owners throwing free condoms to every visitors. It is also reported that the owner of these premises encouraged their visitors to bring along sexual partners to spice up these so-called “parties”. We are also called “scavengers” luring innocent and unsuspecting teenagers (known as anak hekan these days) into performing lewd acts among others sodomy and cock-sucking for a generous amount of money.

Am I denying that all the above never did happen in the current gay scene? NO. All the above did happen but are we that treacherous that at this point of time, we should be considered as national enemy, a disease that spreads like a virus that seeks to destroy the moral values of a country which no longer holds true to whatever value it used to adhere to or are we that dangerous to the general public that any contact made with members of the gay community inadvertently turns them into the corrupt individual that they already are like a cancerous cell that spreads and eventually kills whatever piece of morality within a so-called “normal” heterosexual society.

The past

It is unfair to say that the government had been strictly unfair to the gay community. We were given ample rooms to breathe and the gay scene flourished like it never did for the past few years. We have gay clubs everywhere in the country, saunas and spas almost at par with our overseas counterpart, gay sites made by malaysians, gay blogger blatantly announcing their gay status and we are proud to say that the first malaysian to go to space is GAY. The government has yet to launch an all out gay eradication program, still allowing gay men to work and live in this country, of course, with the exception to our sisters of the drag sisterhood who turned to prostitution as a source of income. However, true to its image as an “islamic” country, the government has yet to allow gay marriage, something that seems outrageous even to a gay muslim like me.

We have “gay” individuals on national tv, running various shows, receiving accolades from the general public. We even have drag queens hosting various functions for various companies, for dinners and what sort. The “gay” disposition of these individuals are considered amusing as long as they keep their sexual lives private, being “soft” or “sissy” is acceptable as long as they don’t have sex with another man. Gay individuals are portrayed in various forms as early as 1980s in shows like 2+1, who can forget the funny gay guy everyone knows as Sam, now we have sitcoms like “sutun” but whatever show it may be, gay guys will always be typecast as funny, silly, outrageous, easy-going and shallow most of the times. We have yet to produce shows like queer as folk that focuses on serious matters, the trials and tribulations of living as a gay.

The future

Majlis fatwa malaysia recently released a statement condemning lesbianism as haram (better known as penkid ), drag queens, known as nyah in this country, has long been labeled as deviant, the act of dressing up like a women is considered haram according to the laws of islam. The near future is bleak of us gays living in this country where the people no longer value living together in harmony. Gone are the days when homosexuals and heterosexuals live together in a community each acknowledging and accepting each others existence.

The government may one day pass a bill for gay registration and all gay establishments might be closed down forever. We will be left with online dating and cyber sex that is, if the government haven’t decided to close down all gay-related web portals. We will be forced to live in darkness, denying our own rights to live as a free gay in a so-called democratic country.

Is this the future we will one day live in?

Men-O-Pause

I am proud to announce that I am currently on a one week leave starting from last Monday and if everything goes as smoothly as i plan, should last till the end of the week. I pray to God everyday that I wouldn’t be called in for an emergency shortage of staffs or some stupid mediocre reason which requires a premature termination of this vacation i am currently enjoying. I call this week the de-STRESSing week, a step necessary to facilitate my upcoming mundane and super-stressful months ahead due to a huge absence of most of the members of the department for various reasons. Therefore, i will try my very best to make this week as stress free as possible.

I just came back from a four day trip to KL, with my BFF, miss merazz. It was mostly an unplanned trip which i see as necessary as part of the de-stressing program. An acquaintance of mine pointed out recently, staying too long on a small island like Penang, seeing same things, meeting same people every day can drive you crazy, hence, he suggested a monthly visit to KL for the sake of maintaining good mental health. I took his advice, returning to Penang just yesterday, feeling partly elated, partly frustrated, partly angered, least of all rejuvenated but most of all, SURPRISED. Let me explain all the various parts i’ve mentioned above.

I managed to get a hold of a CD i’ve been looking for all over penang during this trip to KL. My friend visited some of his favorite cd stores and managed to find an imported double-disc copy of The Best of Oasis. I also found a complete set of manga I’ve been aiming for after reading a review and more so after finishing all 24 episodes of the anime based on the same manga. That explains the elation i felt. I was frustrated at the fact that i couldn’t enjoy any of the food i ate in KL, especially the over-rated Carl’s Jr. and all of my favorite stalls in KLCC which i used to frequent during my student days are now long gone. La Queen, the must-visit gay club for any gay guy visiting KL is now stripped off its usual glitz and glam and what used to be the ultimate hangout for gays of all ages and background is now left with “underage” gays strutting to ridiculous and totally absurd choices of music to dance to. There goes one of the best hangout places on Friday night in the big capital of gayhood in this country.

I was very angry at the fact that after months of web dating on yahoo messenger, the first meeting with an otherwise not strikingly good-looking man i’ve met over the internet did not turn out the way it should be. It was an accidental meet at La Queen. Surprisingly, he was able to recognize me in the dim light as i swept by him on the way upstairs. We had our moments on the staircase, with everyone looking on as they passed by us. It somehow ended there with him giving me a thousand and one reason why we couldn’t spend the time together for the rest of the weekend. I got even angrier due to the fact that after finally giving my ex a chance to rekindle our long lost love or whatever we may have had in the past, he turned down my invitation to meet using his family as an excuse to be overly busy over the weekend.

I always come back from KL feeling overly exhausted. It is probably attributed to a few factors including my inability to sleep anywhere else other my home sweet home. I got a bad case of dehydration due to the fact that KL is over-heated most of the time and the one and only almost fully air-conditioned state in this country manages to cool you down but dries you up like a prune without you knowing it. The air saturated with noxious fumes reduces your oxygen concentration leaving you lethargic most of the time. Whoa, let me just stop there, i can see my KL friends leaving angry comments on this blog in the very near future. Sorry guys, I do love KL but it’s just not the healthiest place on planet earth, not to say that penang fairs anywhere better. Please accept my sincerest apology.

I am mostly SUPRISED for a good reason. KL happens to be the capital of gayhood and most gay guys from other parts of the country make their way here for one main reason, HAVING GREAT SEX. However, during this particular visit, I found myself having the smallest fraction of interest in getting laid, something which i find quiet odd given the circumstances. This has left me with a huge question mark, what in the world is happening to me? Have I really lost it? After much pondering and almost cracking my head open, i came up with a few theories on why i found myself losing my sexual drive on this particular KL trip.

Theory#1: I just turned 30 and since I have matured relatively early as a gay, it is possible that at this age i am suffering from premature decline in sexual drive or libido as a result of an acute decline in hormones circulating through my veins. This condition is otherwise known as andropause and is common among males at the age of 60 and above. However, due to a mutated gene in my body which also turned me into a gay once i reached maturity, this process occurs much earlier compared to normal heterosexual males.

Theory#2: My other BFF, miss odezz, pointed out that perhaps at this age and time i have come to a point where my idea of sexual fulfillment is by achieving emotional intimacy or in words more easily grasped by my fickle mind, LOVE. Having mindless and loveless SEX no longer appeals to my weary soul and repeating the same routine of Touch & Gos and ONSs just leaves me feeling void and most of all, miserable. I realized what i was trying to achieve through SEX can never equates the rush and heat you feel when you’re in LOVE.

Theory#3: During the recent raya celebration, me and a bunch of gals had a blast having non-stop sex at a recently closed sauna in penang. This was followed by a slew of quickies with some other sex buddies i managed to contact and all these happened on the same day. The following months leading to this KL trip also saw me having countless sex with some blind dates and massage boys which in turn causes a state of saturation i.e. my body refuses to engage in any more sex until i go through the process of de-SEX which translates into a few months period of abstinence from SEX.

Theory#4: I had the worst case of emotional instability during this trip to KL. Let me explain why. The afternoon before boarding the bus to KL, i started an all out de-CRUSHING process involving a very handsome colleague i had a crush on. Upon arriving to KL, I had to face two simultaneous rejections from two otherwise not really good looking guys which brought my self-confidence to almost ground zero. I missed my BF terribly wishing above all that I could spend the weekend with him in this beautiful city (read that with a lot of sobs and snorts) and it happened that he was spending the weekends with his close buddies and the thought of me missing him like crazy never crossed his mind. It always happens that during my episodes of depression, i loose whatever sexual drive i may have and in its place, a miserable, brooding old maid.

I offer my sincerest appologies to my BFFs, miss merazz, miss odezz and miss azie for having to keep up with my emotional tantrums and having the deepest sympathies on my weary soul. All of you are real LIFE SAVERS, thanks for being a friend at my most desperate hours. Thank you all.